Back to December
by PeaceLoveandWar67
Summary: How does Clare feel after her break up with Eli? What happens when she confronts him for the first time since then?


Well, hi there!

Short story before we begin: My twin sister had a boyfriend last April. They broke up in December (coincidence, eh?). And just a few days ago, he showed up at our doorsteps! My sister was shocked, and it inspired me to write this! Plus, Taylor Swift's "Back to December" inspired me!

1) Let's pretend that Eli and Imogen are dating

2) Instead of breaking up in April, let's say they broke up in December

**THIS WILL BE A ONE-SHOT. SO PLEASE DON'T ASK ME TO CONTINUE THIS. THANK YOU!**

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or Taylor Swift.

Warning: OOC and possibly tears will be involved.

Enjoy!_  
><em>

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><p><em>Ok, Clare. Just do it… It's just one text message.<em>

I grabbed my phone off of my nightstand, deciding or not if I should text him. It's been months since we last talked. We've been passing each other in the halls of Degrassi like we didn't know each other. Yeah, I know. I was the one that broke up with him. However, ever since then, things haven't been the same for me. Again, I know. I'm dating Jake Martin, and he's dating Imogen. But things don't feel right with Jake, not that my mom and his dad are dating. Imogen, on the other hand… ok, in my opinion, I think she's a psycho that turned the guy I used to date against me. Anyway, it's killing me. I can't handle all of this pain that felt so permanent. I feel like I'm on my own without him. I left him out there and broke our promise, and now I ultimately regret saying goodbye.

_Come on, Clare. Decide. Text him._

I stared blankly at the screen, watching the little vertical line blink every single second. _It's now or never. You can do this._

Ok, here goes nothing.

_Hey. I know it's been a while… but do you think we can talk?_

_-Clare_

I quickly pressed send, and I felt like weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I leaned back until I was in a lying position on my bed, waiting patiently for his response. After a few minutes, I felt my phone vibrate. _Dear god, thank you._ I looked at it and the screen said, "ONE NEW MESSAGE FROM: **Eli.**" I opened the message and it said:

_Umm sure. The bench outside the Dot in 10 minutes?_

_-Eli_

I smiled and responded:

_Sure. Be there in 10._

_-Clare_

I sent it and grabbed my purse off of my desk. I headed downstairs and walked into the living room, where my mom and Jake's dad were making out on the couch. I cleared my throat, and they both pulled away and looked at me.

"Oh, Clare! Sorry. We didn't see you walk in," Glen said.

"It's fine… anyway, I'm going to the Dot…" I said very awkwardly.

"I'm guessing you're going with Jake! Well, you two have fun," my mom said.

"Umm yeah…" I lied. I begin backing away and walked out of the front door. _Next time, I'm staying at Alli's when Glen comes over. _I walked outside and made my way towards the Dot.

_**I'm so glad you made time to see me**__**  
><strong>__**How's life? Tell me, how's your family?**__**  
><strong>__**I haven't seen them in a while**_

_**You've been good, busier than ever**__**  
><strong>__**We small talk, work and the weather**__**  
><strong>__**Your guard is up, and I know why**_

_**Because the last time you saw me**__**  
><strong>__**Is still burned in the back of your mind**__**  
><strong>__**You gave me roses, and I left them there to die**_

Just a few minutes later, I was standing in front of the Dot. I looked over to the bench and there he was. Elijah Goldsworthy. Sitting there staring at me. I took a deep breath and made my way over to him. The next thing I knew, we were standing right in front of each other, face to face, staring into each other's eyes. To break the awkward silence, I spoke up.

"Hi."

He hesitated before saying, "Hi."

"How are you?"

"I'm good… How about you?"

I stared into his eyes before saying, "Great." _Yeah, not really._

We stood there, just staring at each other. There was a big, thick layer of awkward atmosphere. I looked down, too embarrassed to even look at him. Eli was just standing there waiting patiently for me to talk. I looked back up and ask, "So… how are Cece and Bullfrog?"

He started to tense up a little bit. _Oh god. Maybe meeting him was probably a bad idea… Well, I'm the reason why his guard is up._

"They're good. They miss having you around."

I saw the expression on his face. His eyes were full of hurt and sadness. I didn't see the smirk that I loved so much. All he had was a slight frown. And I'm the one that cause him all of this pain.

_**These days I haven't been sleeping,  
>Staying up, playing back myself leavin'.<br>When your birthday passed and I didn't call**_

_**And I think about summer, all the beautiful times,  
>I watched you laughing from the passenger side<br>Realized that I loved you in the fall.**_

And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind  
>You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye"<p>

*******FLASHBACK*******

"_You could have died!" I yelled at Eli angrily. He was in his hospital gown, had scratches on his face, had a neck brace on, and had a boot on. Eli decided to do something stupid and crash his hearse! Yes, I know I told him that I hated Morty. That doesn't mean that he had to wreck it! Now look at him!_

"_But it was worth it, though," Eli stated. "You came."_

_He stared at me with teary eyes, while I stared at him in disbelief. So crashing his hearse was just a way for me to see him… I wanted space, so why can't he respect that? All of these emotions were coming back. Anger, sadness, etc. Then it hit me. I have been manipulated. I looked at him hesitantly before saying, "You knew I would come…"_

"_Clare…" he said while trying to hold my hand. I backed up away from him with teary eyes._

"_No… no, you were manipulating me!" I yelled at him. _

"_I wasn't…" LIES. "I didn't want to, but I was destroying Morty for you."_

"_You scare me, Eli. I can't be around you!" I began to walk towards the door, but I felt Eli grab my wrist. "No, no, no, don't! Don't leave me, please!" He begged. I heard the sadness in his voice, but I couldn't do this anymore._

"_I'm sorry, but I can't!" With that being saying, I yanked my wrist out of his grip and walked out the door. I didn't dare look back. The tears started to fall down. I walked away from everything that we had. Then I realize something. I broke my promise to never leave him._

_xxxxxxxxxx_

_I woke up sweaty and breathless. That nightmare keeps coming back! It literally haunts me. I thought that ending things with Eli would be a lift off my shoulders, but it actually made things worse. I couldn't sleep at all these past few weeks. The memory kept replaying._

_Why do I have to feel this way?_

_xxxxxxxxxx_

"_Hey, Clare, aren't you going to call Eli today?" Adam asked me suddenly. I looked at him confusingly._

"_Why?" I knew what Adam was going to say. It was Eli's birthday today. I still haven't decided if I should call him or not. Heck, I wasn't sure if I can handle talking to him._

"_It's Eli's birthday today…" Adam trailed off._

_All of this talking about Eli is reminding me of the great memories we had. The time he ran over my glasses with Morty. The time we got partnered up in Ms. Dawes' class. The kiss we had for the English project. The kiss in the library. The kiss we had on our "first date." Everything. It pains me. I couldn't think about this right now, so I made up an excuse._

"_Hello? Earth to Clare?" Adam asked while snapping his fingers in my face. I snapped back to reality and finally said, "Maybe later."_

_Adam eyed me suspiciously, but then shrugged it off._

_I was such a horrible person. I never did call him._

***END OF FLASHBACK***

_**I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile,  
>So good to me, so right<br>And how you held me in your arms that September night -  
>The first time you ever saw me cry.<strong>_

**_Maybe this is wishful thinking,_**  
><strong><em>Probably mindless dreaming,<em>**  
><strong><em>But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right.<em>**

**_I'd go back in time and change it but I can't._**  
><strong><em>So if the chain is on your door I understand.<em>**

"Ummm, Clare? Can you hurry up? I kinda have to meet up with someone," Eli said, snapping me back to real life and making me stare at him. He had a slight irritated look on his face. I couldn't help but feel a little bit jealous. So I snapped.

"I'm guessing you're meeting up with Imogen so that you don't have to face me. Is that true?" I literally yelled at him.

"No, Clare–" he started, but I interrupted him.

"I get it, Eli. You rather be with her than have a normal conversation with me!"

"Why are you so angry all of a sudden? You're the one that just left me out there!"

"AND I ULTIMATELY REGRETTED IT!"

_Shit._

Eli just stared at me in shock. I could feel the tears coming. _Time to tell him the truth, Clare._

"I miss you, Eli," I stated. Before he could speak, I continued.

"I miss everything about you. Your smirk, your eyes… everything. You helped me go through my parents' divorce, and I helped you go through your hoarding problem. I remember how you held me when I was down. And I just had to ruin everything by walking out of that hospital door. If I had a chance to go back in time, I would fix everything… But I guess you moved on."

I was crying so hard, while Eli looked at me with a sad face. "To tell you the truth, Eli, I'm not really happy anymore. Not happy with my life OR with Jake… Well, I guess I better go and leave you alone."

With that being said, I turned around and walked away. I was walking away from the person I used to call mine forever. The tears didn't bother to stop, and the memories kept replaying in my head.

After about five minutes of walking, I felt someone grip my wrist and swiftly turned me around. Before I could do something, the person collided his or her lips with mine.

_**But this is me swallowing my pride  
>Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."<br>And I go back to December...**_

_**It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,  
>Wishing I'd realize what I had when you were mine.<br>I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.  
>I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind<strong>_

I go back to December all the time.  
>All the time<p>

The person quickly pulled away a minute later. I opened my eyes to meet the person with the green eyes and that beautiful smirk.

"I'm not going anywhere," he said.

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><p>Well isn't that adorable!<p>

Oh, and "Meaning of Life" will be updated around this upcoming Thursday or Friday!

Reviews?


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